Scripture passage: Prov 31:10-31
Although this passage is about the wife of noble character, it is relevant to anyone who works and needs home-work balance and also relevant to whoever lives with someone who works.
To read this chapter as a list of accomplishments will already exhaust us mentally- who can keep up? So what does this passage teach about home-work balance?
1) It’s not how many things you manage to achieve in and out of the home, but the attitudes and emotions by which you do them. The wife in Prov 31 was described as being well-meaning without malice (v12), hands-on (v13), eager (v13), adventurous (v14), going about her work “vigorously” (v17), careful and meticulous (v16,18). She show lots of initiative and she is diligent,self-driven, self-motivated, and shows warmth and sincerity in community service (. She looks after her family and herself well -being well dressed and elegant, clothed with strength and dignity (v22, 25). There is no complaining, no bargaining for rewards. She goes about the work like it’s her calling. There is nothing in this passage to suggest that she was born like this- she must have willingly and humbly learnt under others, and worked hard to become competent in all she was doing.
One attitude that is not found in this passage is sacrifice- not a word of that is mentioned here. And it’s no sacrifice at all- the time and energy you put in, the choices that you make. This happens when you consider what you do as God’s calling for you and it’s your choice. Don’t use the idea of “sacrifice” to send you family on a guilt trip.
Reflection Question: What are the choices that you have taken within the home? Which of these continue to be areas that bring frustration and heartache? Bring them to the Lord in prayer.2) It’s about the attitudes of those who live with her. She is treasured like a rare ruby (v10). Her husband trusts her without reserve (v11, The msg). Imagine how devastating it would be when you come home after a hard day to be questioned with suspicion about your actions and people you met and money you spent. Instead her husband is proud of his wife and obviously speaks well of her, at the same city gates where he too is respected (v23, 31). He sees her activities as extensions of her personality- instead of talking down her work as “just a little hobby to keep busy”. There is no comparison needed about who makes more money or who spends more time with the children. Each person has a special part in the family.
Reflection Question: What is your part in the family? How will your family remember you- your jokes, the meals you cooked, the clothes you sewed? When you come home from work, do they stand up and greet you? (v28)
3) It’s about what sustains these attitudes. Will passion, interest, competence sustain these attitudes? And for how long? The reason for her success is not her charm or her beauty, but her fear of the Lord (v30). As fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, it explains why she speaks with wisdom and faithfully instructs her children too. The Bible has many passages that shows that work is God-given, and it’s for our satisfaction and character development. Work was not meant to demean people or as an excuse for avoiding home and whatever issue you are trying to avoid there, nor as escape from broken heart, or to satisfy your self esteem needs or sense of self worth.
Reflection Question: Are you addicted to your work? God satisfies all your needs –if there is any emptiness, fill it with God and His promises, not work.
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