The Media as 'The Other Parent' (Ephesians 5:1-14)

Snippet of sermon by Dr Calvin Chong

INTRODUCTION

Supported by extensive research, The Other Parent is a pioneering book that raises the alarm against the tremendously negative impact the modern media has had on children, the family, and society. It is written by James P. Steyer, Chelsea Clinton. In the book, he reveals how TV, music, the Internet, and movies bombard our young ones with sexual, commercial, and violent images on a daily basis and how they affect a child's development, the noted professor and author then provides easy, practical measures that parents can take to combat the harmful effects of media saturation. It's an important book that shows the way to raise more constructive, well-adjusted children.

Today together with our children, we straddle between geographical space and digital space. Many youths spend more time on digital space than in the real world and mostly with permission from us. We routinely expose our children, allow them to roam for 5-6 hours a day in that space and do virtually nothing about it.

Do we know e.g. what our youths are listening to? If you were to take a look at the top 100 downloads, you will find that many of them contain explicit lyrics. Some even have 2 versions, one for publicity to adults and another F-version for those who want to hear it in the original state. Kids today also don’t just buy albums, they create playlists of the songs that they like. Have you ever listened to anyone of these?

(If you can't stand the lyrics below, just scroll down}

"It Seems Like You're Ready"
by R Kelly

Temperatures rising,
And Your body's yearnin' for me.
Girl, lay it on me,
I place no one above thee,
Oh, take me to your ecstasy.

It seems like you're ready (seems like you're ready).
Girl are you ready,
To go all the way?
It seems like you're ready (seems like you're ready).
Girl, are you ready,
To go all the way?

I can smell your perfume,
Step into my bedroom,
Let me love you constantly.
Oh,oh, your body is my playground,
Let me lick you up and down,
Make you feel like a woman should.

It seems like you're ready (seems like you're ready).
Girl, are you ready,
To go all the way?
It seems like you're ready (seems like you're ready).
Girl, are you ready,
To go all the way?

TONIGHT BY Enrique-Iglesias-

I know you want me

I made it obvious that I want you too

So put it on me

Let's remove the space between me and you

Now rock your body, oh

Damn, I like the way that you move

So give it to me'

Cause I already know what you wanna do

Here's the situation, been to every nation

Nobody's ever made me feel the way that you do

You know my motivation, given my reputation

Please excuse me, I don't mean to be rude

But tonight I'm fuckin' you

Oh, you know

That tonight I'm fuckin' you

Oh, you know

That tonight I'm fuckin' you

Oh, you know

That tonight I'm fuckin' you

Oh, you know

You're so damn pretty

If I had a type then, baby, it would be youI know you're ready, if I never lied

Then, baby, you'd be truth

Here's the situation, been to every nation

Nobody's ever made me feel the way that you do

You know my motivation, given my reputation

Please excuse me, I don't mean to be rude

But tonight I'm fuckin' you

Oh, you know

That tonight I'm fuckin' you

Oh, you know

That tonight I'm fuckin' you

Oh, you know

That tonight I'm fuckin' you

Oh, you know

Tonight I'm gonna do

Everything that I want with you

Everything that you need, everything that you want

I'm on the hunt, I wanna stunt with you

From the window to the wall

Gotta give you my all

Winter or the summertime

When I get you on the springs, I'mma make you fall

You got that body that make me wanna

Get up on the floor just to see you dance

And I love the way you shake that ass

Turn around and let me see them pants

You're stuck with me, I'm stuck with you

Let's find something to do

Please excuse me

I don't mean to be rude

But tonight I'm fuckin' you

Oh, you knowThat tonight I'm fuckin' you

Oh, you know

That tonight I'm fuckin' you

Oh, you know

That tonight I'm fuckin' you

Oh, you know

That tonight I'm fuckin' you

Yeah, tonight I'm fuckin' you

“Rebellion” by Britney Spears

Be wary of others
The ones closest to you (oh)
The poison they feed you
And the voodoo that they do

But in rebellion
There's a sparkle of truth
Don't just stand there
Do what you got to do

You'll find it in rebellion
Your body starts breathing
They're not believing what they're seeing
'Cause you're rebellion

You'll find it so compelling
With everyone yelling
'Cause your soul, you're not selling
'Cause you're rebellion

“UNWELL” BY MATCHBOX 20

All day
Staring at the ceiling
Making friends with shadows on my wall
All night
Hearing voices telling me
That I should get some sleep
Because tomorrow might be good for something
Hold on
I'm feeling like I'm headed for a
Breakdown
I don't know why
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know, right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know, right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be
Me
Talking to myself in public
Dodging glances on the train
I know
I know they've all been talking 'bout me
I can hear them whisper
And it makes me think there must be something wrong
With me
Out of all the hours thinking
Somehow
I've lost my mind
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know, right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be
I been talking in my sleep
Pretty soon they'll come to get me
Yeah, they're taking me away
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know, right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy I'm just a little impaired
I know, right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be
Hey, how I used to be
How I used to be, yeah
Well I'm just a little unwell
How I used to be
How I used to be

F words no longer just appear in the rock songs but also normal ones. The themes are mostly about being out of control, in rebellion; some even promoting self-mutilation etc.

Nigerian Quote: It takes a whole village to raise a kid. See God in the lives of the children. But who in this digital global village are parenting our children? Christians seem to have lost our bearings and influence. It is as if we have forgotten who we are as Christians.

Opening verse of the letter reminds us that God is our heavenly father and we have been adopted as his sons. V 1 dearly loved children. Holy and righteous is the Father and as his children we are to be in His truth and light. God has a deep commitment to parent us, his children, to warn us against the traps that they need to avoid. Paul issues a call to live a life of love as children of light. In this call, we are admonished to follow the example of Christ in our lifestyle choices and in the habits of our heart. Habits define a man and woman.

Habit minus

-          “H” still have a bit

-          “a” still the bit is left

-          “b” still it is left

-          “t” still I is left.

The root of habit is 'I'. Related to this root, is the rebellion that says, “when I want to, on my terms, when I am ready etc.” If Christ is our example, we need to recognize God as our master. Just as Jesus obeyed the Father and gave his life so that others might gain, we must turn and aspire to make it our lifelong habit to obey the Lord and consider others better than ourselves.

V 8-9 Live as children of light is to make an impact in our world of darkness. Darkness creates fear in most of us but when invaded by a swarm of fireflies, our fear of the dark is quickly dispelled as we are enabled to see and therefore navigate our way to safety. This is the call that is issued to a God's people. For the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth. We must first take on the characteristics of lights. Fireflies create the flashes of light we see when their Luciferin is combined with the enzyme Luciferase, mixed with oxygen and ATP (adenosine triphosphate). Their glow is called bioluminescence. Similarly, if our natures are not renewed by the Holy Spirit, we will not be able to give off light in the darkness.  Without that quality, we are powerless and easily overwhelmed by sinister snares. God has infused that new DNA into our lives, freeing us up to enjoy His light as individuals and communities. Many believers suffer from spiritual schizophrenia: while we project clean images of ourselves in church, we are quite another person in private with lewd appetites: “Porn again” Christians. Over the weekend, the speaker attended an International church worship in Africa, the pastor spoke on the issue of pornography. It was a 2-hour service. At the close of the sermon, congregation members were invited to come forward if they wanted to deal with this issue in their lives. One third of the congregation, both men and women came out to the front. The speaker was wondering if that same invitation was made in Singapore, how many people would come forward? We are not to have a lifestyle that embraces this darkness, we are to snap out of that spiritual schizophrenia.

In v 4, Paul talked about obscenities, coarse joking, sexual immorality. We can see in Eph 5 the pastoral heart of Paul. He made 5 appeals, repeated appeals to the Ephesian believers to steer clear of sexual impurity. If we trace the cause of sexual immorality, our human hearts are easily seduced in viral sites that celebrate this lewdness. They feed our dark side, sucking out the light within us. Of the 4 acts mentioned in v 3, not all of them are neutral acts, most of them are parasitic and we cannot continue to visit darkness without developing hostility for the light. Feel the heartbeat of the pastor warning the flock, not to go back to old ways and become darkened in ignorance and hardened in our hearts, losing all sensitivity.

CONCLUSION

The inner battle is on for both the young and old today. If we want to live as Children of Light, we must know how to deal with the incessant media seduction that is all over us almost all the time. If we disregard Paul’s counsel, we cannot expect to escape the consequences. Both the speaker and his wife have, over the years, observed and prayed for people ensnared by the media, met people bearing a burden of guilt and shame, witnessed numerous marriages destroyed. It is not about the pornography about what it leads to after feeding on it regularly.

One important way to combat this is to grow a distaste for the things that used to entrap us. Whatever action plans we can come up with, it is not unusual to find that most people don't keep to them.

1.       If you are determined to deal with such obsessions, find someone you can trust and begin an accountability relationship with him/her.

2.       If you know of someone who has fallen, do not be self-righteous, if the person trusts you and accepts you as guide, restore him gently.

3.       Watch yourself and know that it can happen to us too and determine to be part of the restoration story in our community.

REFLECTION QUESTIONS

1. Am I a spiritual schizophrenia patient? What is feeding the dark side of my life? Who can I trust to share the 'dark' side of my life?
2. What are my spouse/siblings/parents/children/nieces/nephews exposed to? What are some practical steps that I need to take to be more vigilant as a guide in their lives?
3. Whom do I know needs an accountability partner? How can God use me to restore this brother or a sister?