The Media as 'The Other Parent' (Ephesians 5:1-14)

Snippet of sermon by Dr Calvin Chong

INTRODUCTION

Supported by extensive research, The Other Parent is a pioneering book that raises the alarm against the tremendously negative impact the modern media has had on children, the family, and society. It is written by James P. Steyer, Chelsea Clinton. In the book, he reveals how TV, music, the Internet, and movies bombard our young ones with sexual, commercial, and violent images on a daily basis and how they affect a child's development, the noted professor and author then provides easy, practical measures that parents can take to combat the harmful effects of media saturation. It's an important book that shows the way to raise more constructive, well-adjusted children.

Today together with our children, we straddle between geographical space and digital space. Many youths spend more time on digital space than in the real world and mostly with permission from us. We routinely expose our children, allow them to roam for 5-6 hours a day in that space and do virtually nothing about it.

Do we know e.g. what our youths are listening to? If you were to take a look at the top 100 downloads, you will find that many of them contain explicit lyrics. Some even have 2 versions, one for publicity to adults and another F-version for those who want to hear it in the original state. Kids today also don’t just buy albums, they create playlists of the songs that they like. Have you ever listened to anyone of these?

(If you can't stand the lyrics below, just scroll down}

"It Seems Like You're Ready"
by R Kelly

Temperatures rising,
And Your body's yearnin' for me.
Girl, lay it on me,
I place no one above thee,
Oh, take me to your ecstasy.

It seems like you're ready (seems like you're ready).
Girl are you ready,
To go all the way?
It seems like you're ready (seems like you're ready).
Girl, are you ready,
To go all the way?

I can smell your perfume,
Step into my bedroom,
Let me love you constantly.
Oh,oh, your body is my playground,
Let me lick you up and down,
Make you feel like a woman should.

It seems like you're ready (seems like you're ready).
Girl, are you ready,
To go all the way?
It seems like you're ready (seems like you're ready).
Girl, are you ready,
To go all the way?

TONIGHT BY Enrique-Iglesias-

I know you want me

I made it obvious that I want you too

So put it on me

Let's remove the space between me and you

Now rock your body, oh

Damn, I like the way that you move

So give it to me'

Cause I already know what you wanna do

Here's the situation, been to every nation

Nobody's ever made me feel the way that you do

You know my motivation, given my reputation

Please excuse me, I don't mean to be rude

But tonight I'm fuckin' you

Oh, you know

That tonight I'm fuckin' you

Oh, you know

That tonight I'm fuckin' you

Oh, you know

That tonight I'm fuckin' you

Oh, you know

You're so damn pretty

If I had a type then, baby, it would be youI know you're ready, if I never lied

Then, baby, you'd be truth

Here's the situation, been to every nation

Nobody's ever made me feel the way that you do

You know my motivation, given my reputation

Please excuse me, I don't mean to be rude

But tonight I'm fuckin' you

Oh, you know

That tonight I'm fuckin' you

Oh, you know

That tonight I'm fuckin' you

Oh, you know

That tonight I'm fuckin' you

Oh, you know

Tonight I'm gonna do

Everything that I want with you

Everything that you need, everything that you want

I'm on the hunt, I wanna stunt with you

From the window to the wall

Gotta give you my all

Winter or the summertime

When I get you on the springs, I'mma make you fall

You got that body that make me wanna

Get up on the floor just to see you dance

And I love the way you shake that ass

Turn around and let me see them pants

You're stuck with me, I'm stuck with you

Let's find something to do

Please excuse me

I don't mean to be rude

But tonight I'm fuckin' you

Oh, you knowThat tonight I'm fuckin' you

Oh, you know

That tonight I'm fuckin' you

Oh, you know

That tonight I'm fuckin' you

Oh, you know

That tonight I'm fuckin' you

Yeah, tonight I'm fuckin' you

“Rebellion” by Britney Spears

Be wary of others
The ones closest to you (oh)
The poison they feed you
And the voodoo that they do

But in rebellion
There's a sparkle of truth
Don't just stand there
Do what you got to do

You'll find it in rebellion
Your body starts breathing
They're not believing what they're seeing
'Cause you're rebellion

You'll find it so compelling
With everyone yelling
'Cause your soul, you're not selling
'Cause you're rebellion

“UNWELL” BY MATCHBOX 20

All day
Staring at the ceiling
Making friends with shadows on my wall
All night
Hearing voices telling me
That I should get some sleep
Because tomorrow might be good for something
Hold on
I'm feeling like I'm headed for a
Breakdown
I don't know why
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know, right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know, right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be
Me
Talking to myself in public
Dodging glances on the train
I know
I know they've all been talking 'bout me
I can hear them whisper
And it makes me think there must be something wrong
With me
Out of all the hours thinking
Somehow
I've lost my mind
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know, right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be
I been talking in my sleep
Pretty soon they'll come to get me
Yeah, they're taking me away
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know, right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy I'm just a little impaired
I know, right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be
Hey, how I used to be
How I used to be, yeah
Well I'm just a little unwell
How I used to be
How I used to be

F words no longer just appear in the rock songs but also normal ones. The themes are mostly about being out of control, in rebellion; some even promoting self-mutilation etc.

Nigerian Quote: It takes a whole village to raise a kid. See God in the lives of the children. But who in this digital global village are parenting our children? Christians seem to have lost our bearings and influence. It is as if we have forgotten who we are as Christians.

Opening verse of the letter reminds us that God is our heavenly father and we have been adopted as his sons. V 1 dearly loved children. Holy and righteous is the Father and as his children we are to be in His truth and light. God has a deep commitment to parent us, his children, to warn us against the traps that they need to avoid. Paul issues a call to live a life of love as children of light. In this call, we are admonished to follow the example of Christ in our lifestyle choices and in the habits of our heart. Habits define a man and woman.

Habit minus

-          “H” still have a bit

-          “a” still the bit is left

-          “b” still it is left

-          “t” still I is left.

The root of habit is 'I'. Related to this root, is the rebellion that says, “when I want to, on my terms, when I am ready etc.” If Christ is our example, we need to recognize God as our master. Just as Jesus obeyed the Father and gave his life so that others might gain, we must turn and aspire to make it our lifelong habit to obey the Lord and consider others better than ourselves.

V 8-9 Live as children of light is to make an impact in our world of darkness. Darkness creates fear in most of us but when invaded by a swarm of fireflies, our fear of the dark is quickly dispelled as we are enabled to see and therefore navigate our way to safety. This is the call that is issued to a God's people. For the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth. We must first take on the characteristics of lights. Fireflies create the flashes of light we see when their Luciferin is combined with the enzyme Luciferase, mixed with oxygen and ATP (adenosine triphosphate). Their glow is called bioluminescence. Similarly, if our natures are not renewed by the Holy Spirit, we will not be able to give off light in the darkness.  Without that quality, we are powerless and easily overwhelmed by sinister snares. God has infused that new DNA into our lives, freeing us up to enjoy His light as individuals and communities. Many believers suffer from spiritual schizophrenia: while we project clean images of ourselves in church, we are quite another person in private with lewd appetites: “Porn again” Christians. Over the weekend, the speaker attended an International church worship in Africa, the pastor spoke on the issue of pornography. It was a 2-hour service. At the close of the sermon, congregation members were invited to come forward if they wanted to deal with this issue in their lives. One third of the congregation, both men and women came out to the front. The speaker was wondering if that same invitation was made in Singapore, how many people would come forward? We are not to have a lifestyle that embraces this darkness, we are to snap out of that spiritual schizophrenia.

In v 4, Paul talked about obscenities, coarse joking, sexual immorality. We can see in Eph 5 the pastoral heart of Paul. He made 5 appeals, repeated appeals to the Ephesian believers to steer clear of sexual impurity. If we trace the cause of sexual immorality, our human hearts are easily seduced in viral sites that celebrate this lewdness. They feed our dark side, sucking out the light within us. Of the 4 acts mentioned in v 3, not all of them are neutral acts, most of them are parasitic and we cannot continue to visit darkness without developing hostility for the light. Feel the heartbeat of the pastor warning the flock, not to go back to old ways and become darkened in ignorance and hardened in our hearts, losing all sensitivity.

CONCLUSION

The inner battle is on for both the young and old today. If we want to live as Children of Light, we must know how to deal with the incessant media seduction that is all over us almost all the time. If we disregard Paul’s counsel, we cannot expect to escape the consequences. Both the speaker and his wife have, over the years, observed and prayed for people ensnared by the media, met people bearing a burden of guilt and shame, witnessed numerous marriages destroyed. It is not about the pornography about what it leads to after feeding on it regularly.

One important way to combat this is to grow a distaste for the things that used to entrap us. Whatever action plans we can come up with, it is not unusual to find that most people don't keep to them.

1.       If you are determined to deal with such obsessions, find someone you can trust and begin an accountability relationship with him/her.

2.       If you know of someone who has fallen, do not be self-righteous, if the person trusts you and accepts you as guide, restore him gently.

3.       Watch yourself and know that it can happen to us too and determine to be part of the restoration story in our community.

REFLECTION QUESTIONS

1. Am I a spiritual schizophrenia patient? What is feeding the dark side of my life? Who can I trust to share the 'dark' side of my life?
2. What are my spouse/siblings/parents/children/nieces/nephews exposed to? What are some practical steps that I need to take to be more vigilant as a guide in their lives?
3. Whom do I know needs an accountability partner? How can God use me to restore this brother or a sister?

Children are V.I.P. (Psalm 127; Prov 20:5)

Snippet of sermon by Percy Loh on Church School Sunday 2011

INTRODUCTION

African Quote: It takes a whole village to raise a kid. See God in the lives of the children.

1.     God's View: God's Word reveals God’s interest in young children: Samuel, Josiah, Jeremiah; even before they are born. Children are a heritage from the Lord. Arrows in the hands of a mighty warrior.  One commentator on the Psalms, Derek Kidner, made this point, “It is not untypical of God’s gifts that first they are liabilities, or at least responsibilities before they become obvious assets. The greater their promise, the more likely that these sons will be a handful before they are a quiver full.” God intervenes in the lives of the children. How do we receive the children in our midst?  Matt 18:6 “If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.”

4-14 Window Global Initiative - It's Time To Wake Up!  http://youtu.be/h7eue0iR-aU

2.     Parents' Influence

The Bible affirms the worth of children. V 3-5. Children are arrows that archers need to train in the ways of the Lord.  Children are a sacred trust. burden from the Lord. Arrows can go where the archer warrior cannot reach. We have to take care of our arrows like a good archer. We have to work on them: keeping them straight and strong, sharpened and aimed at the right direction. In the hands of God they can be more than we can ever imagine. They don't come all made, we are called to participate actively in the shaping process. Proverbs 22:6 says, “Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.“ Only the Word of God can protect children to be sent out as an influence in the world and not to be influenced by it. If we are not careful, they can be influenced by the media most of which are against family values and Christian values. Would we allow our children to be discipled by the world?  Would we allow them to be influenced by the media that promotes abusive behaviour, vulgarities and hold up teen celebrities as role models? When Jesus  was tempted, he stood the test. Timothy stood firm because his mother and grandma taught him the Word of God. We need to do our utmost to train them in the Word of God. The world is changing. Our fathers of faith have lost a generation. Are we willing to raise a generation of world changers? What difference will you make? What are we doing? How can we make a difference in schools?

3.     Church Prepare: There is saying that goes, “Aim at nothing you will hit it every time.” The greatest barrier to us making a difference is that we set such low standards. We need to raise the standard; take God's standards as our guide. We need every adult, parents or not, to assist in building and moulding the lives of the children. Behind every children’s event in Charis MC, there are adults supporting them. Would you come along? Would you avail yourself to influence the neighborhood children to know Jesus Christ? Would you volunteer to chaperon children during our Sunday School outings, our vacation camps, in the Boys’ Brigade. We need you to come around they will make a difference among their peers. A lot of us waste our time away by watching TV.

TV rots the senses in the head!
It kills the imagination dead!
It clogs and clutters up the mind!
It makes a child so dull and blind.
He can no longer understand a fantasy,
A fairyland!
His brain becomes as soft as cheese!
His powers of thinking rust and freeze!
An excerpt from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory,
By Roald Dahl, 1964

We must read the Bible. We need the Word of God in you.

CONCLUSION

Prov 20:5 says, “The purposes of a person’s heart are deep waters, but one who has insight draws them out.” How much did you receive as you were growing up? Ps 127:1-2 "Unless the LORD builds the house, the builders  labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, the guards stand watch in vain. In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat— for he grants sleep to^[a] those he loves." To build without the Lord is to work in vain. The protection of the family and our children cannot be achieved by man's efforts. We need God to be central in our homes; we need the Word of God in our lives. There is an urgent role to disciple the children for Jesus, so that they can make a difference for Jesus in their life-times. If you were to disciple your children, what difference will we make, as parents, as a church? Joel 2:28. What kind of difference can we make?

REFLECTION QUESTIONS:

1.     How do we receive the children in our midst? How do you respond to Jesus’ words in Matt: “If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea”?

2.     Are we willing to raise a generation of world changers? What difference will you make? What are we doing as a church? How can we make a difference in schools?

3.     Who are some of these children that I can influence? How can I build into their lives with the help of the Lord?

THE BIRDS AND THE BEES: IN CELEBRATION OF SEX (GENESIS 2:22-25)

Snippet of sermon by Rev Helen Hoe

INTRODUCTION
In many cultures, sex is still taboo to many and it is not unusual to approach it from a secular point of view.  The marketplace promotes the idea that sex makes everything better: it is a panacea for aches and pains. It is also a popular marketing tool for selling just about anything from cars to even children's clothes.

The Church is often seen to avoid talking about sex as well. What is God's intention in creating sex? Sex is invented by God. It is not just the physical union between a male and a female but a spiritual union as well. In Gen 4:1, the word "know" is used to describe two people having sexual relations. This is the same bible term that is used to define our relationship with God. Just as the word describes God’s intimate knowledge of man, it is to also reflect that intimate knowledge of one with another.  Sex has also been created for our enjoyment. Not only does the introduction to the books in the Old Testament refer to sex, you will find an entire book in the Bible dedicated to sexual love in the Song of Songs. In this scroll, sex is described in poetic language and it is the Jewish custom in the ancient days that young men were forbidden to read this book until the age of 20. God included this is because it is a statement that sex is an enjoyment within the proper framework of marriage. Deut 24:5 “If a man has recently married, he must not be sent to war or have any other duty laid on him. For one year he is to be free to stay at home and bring happiness to the wife he has married.”

God gives importance of the sexual relationship between husband and wife. The nature of this pleasure involves not just the physical aspect but also the emotional and spiritual. It is not simply for procreation or simply a way to keep human beings from sexual immorality. How do we live our lives as a testimony in this area? Our media makes sex and virginity look cheap. We can rationalize all we want and cross the line that God has drawn to protect us but all sexual relationship outside marriage is displeasing to the Lord. God's instruction on sexuality is not outdated today. It is more relevant than before to remember what the creator of sex said about it.

How then should we respond if we have crossed that line?

1.      The Place of Confession & Repentance: We need to confess, repent and forsake it. We are no different from the rest of the world. We cannot turn back the clock but we can ask for restoration and purity in this area. Come before God to ask for his grace and strength to grow in holiness in this area.

2.      Exercise self-control: This discipline is totally discarded by many today when it comes to sex. The popular idea is when aroused, sexual urges cannot be controlled, just give in to it. It is Iike any other desires e.g. eating when one is hungry.  This has also become widely accepted too that since I have a right to express and fulfill my needs, I may have sex with just about anyone even if they are of the same sex. So we have people promoting the alternative lifestyle of homosexuality. Just because my food tastes good with sugar doesn’t mean that I can eat loads of sugar by itself. When we enjoy it our itself, it can be extremely harmful to the body. Similarly, God does not want us to fulfill all our desires but that we learn to bring them under the lordship of Christ. God can enable us to break this bondage. Without bring our sexual urges under the control of the Holy Spirit, it can become an addiction, it can become perverted or be so absorbing as to become the focus of life. What started out as a gift of God's, can become life destroying when we isolate it from the context that God has prescribed. One of the fruit of the Holy Spirit is the virtue of self control and God does expect us to exercise that in this area of sex.

3.      Don't over estimate yourself. Flee from sexual immorality just as Joseph fled from his master's wife. Don’t think that you are invincible to temptations of this nature. Gen 2:25 says, “Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.” That reflected the state of sinlessness when they started out. But as soon as they were inducted into sin, their consciousness of sin was reflected in their need to hide their nakedness from each other and from God. Their eyes could only see their own need rather than their need as a couple. Ever since then, the lust of the flesh has expressed itself in self-centered gratification of sex.  

CONCLUSION

Sex is not something bad. God has created a space where it can be enjoyed. We need always to bring this part under the lordship of Christ. Whoever sin sexually sin against one body. 1 Cor 6:18-20 says, “¹⁸ Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. ¹⁹ Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; ²⁰ you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.” The question is not who am I, but whose am I. We want to honor God. We cannot misuse sex any way we want or at any time we want.

REFLECTION QUESTIONS:

1.      Have I been tempted to do as I want, whenever I want in this area of sex? Why didn’t I flee from the situation as Joseph did? Pray and ask the Lord for forgiveness if you have offended the Lord in this matter.

2.      What are some contributing factors that strengthen the deception regarding sex that has quite a hold on me? (Movies, pornographic sites, books, on-line games etc.) Who can I be accountable to regarding this area of weakness?

3.      Whose am I? How can these reflections speak to me especially if I am single? How can I respond as a single person to these words?